Resolution? Or Revolution?

So, it’s that time of year again. Resolution season. For a coach, this means the calendar will be filling up. And that, of course, is a good thing– for me.

But is it good for you? Not necessarily.

Don’t get me wrong– I want to help you transform your life in wonderful ways.

But I am not a huge fan of resolutions. They tend to fade before the last of the Christmas trees hit the curb. Why, is that, do you suppose?

In my opinion, resolutions melt away like spring snow because they are often superficial, pre-recorded answers that you don’t really resonate with. Resolutions aren’t about the deep, real answer: they are about the “right” answer. The “right” answer, it turns out, often isn’t responding to the right question.

Resolutions are like a boring old relative, endlessly telling you what you “should” do–guilting you. Guilt, it turns out, is a lousy motivator.

OK, yes. sometimes, resolutions work. What’s your track record with them? If they work for you, great! But I am guessing that they maybe don’t, so much.

I much prefer revolution.

Revolution doesn’t come from a “should” message. It comes from a wild, wise place deep inside. It must be lovingly discovered, and that’s where I do my job: not by coming up with answers, but by asking questions.

Questions that make you stop cold, and really think. Questions that make you giggle, as though there’s a guilty pleasure in even considering the answer. Questions that are out of the question, questions that piss you off, questions that are stupid, questions that you wouldn’t have thought of, questions that I am surprised that I thought of, but thought of because of what you blurted out in response to a previous, (stupid) question. I like questions that you can’t believe nobody ever asked you before; questions that lead to answers that are so obvious they are a huge surprise.

The right question can change the story you’ve been telling yourself, and that can change your world. Questions lead to revolution.

Isn’t revolution dangerous?

If a coach-client relationship is properly designed, no, personal revolution isn’t dangerous. Scary? Hell yeah. Real, deep, transformational change can be scary. Our job is to  co-create a relationship that lets the scary stuff happen, safely. (By the way, the typical resolution scenario, which may feel safe, is often fraught with danger (ask an ER worker how many serious injuries they see every January as a result of resolutions!)

So, one has a choice. Scary, unknown, exploratory adventure, or–check the usual boxes. Quit that bad habit, do that exercise, yada yada yada. You know, “Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.”

What would happen if, this year, today, you choose revolution?

I am happy to offer free sample sessions on the phone, or, if you are local to Schenectady, in my office. Get in touch, and we’ll see what kind of wonderful, creative, transformational trouble we can get into.